I've always had a flair for the dramatic. And dumb.

Day 31: A vivid memory.




I don't remember how old I was... probably 5... and I don't know if I actually remember this event or if I've heard the story so many times that I just think I do... but nonetheless - It's very vivid. 
It was shortly after my baby brother was born - from what I've heard - and remember - I went thru a bit of a  bratty phase. So we were at my grandpa's for a holiday or cookout and I was probably mouthing off and my Uncle Jim and I were standing in front of the garage and he said that if I didn't straighten up he was going to spank me. And I think I remember looking at him, little hand on my little hip {popped out, of course} and said quite matter of factly, "nobody spanks me but my mommy and daddy." {Mind you, I can't ever actually remember being spanked as a child - but it was just a "thing" people did or said when in trouble. Now, having your mouth washed out with soap... I remember that.} And my little sassy moment didn't win me any prizes that day... just a sore behind - because sure enough that comment had been the icing on the cake with my attitude. 
My Uncle Jim and I laugh at this nearly every chance we get. It was just one of those moments you don't forget. 

See, I've always had a flair for the dramatic... 
When I was around 6 or 7, Dad and I were on our way over to my Grandpa's house and I heard a buzzing in his truck. His old, orange, truck. And I have and have always had a real aversion to bees. So, I'm immediately alarmed when I hear this buzzing. I shriek, followed by "DADDDDYYYYYY! There's a bee!!!!" To which he replied, {and probably rolled his eyes} "You'll be fine, Jac. We're almost to Grandpa's." Almost wasn't close enough... I start waving my arms back and forth, sure he was going to get me. {But seriously, why have I always thought that the bees were going to kill me?} Meanwhile Dad is telling me to stop being such a nut... insert the scream of death... HE GOT ME! The little sucker was hanging out behind the seat... and while I was going all ape shit he stung my elbow and when I went crazy again, he stung my other arm. I screamed bloody murder the rest of the drive... {and the total drive from my house to my Grandpa's... 5 minutes.} My poor Dad. 
However, I think two of my most vivid memories involve two of my large injuries... because I don't get hurt because I fell or had an accident. No, I get hurt because I'm dumb. Because I clearly don't think through things sometimes...
I have a two inch scar on my shoulder. It's very noticeable. And I get asked about it often during the warmer months. I always laugh and say... "Turns out, cats can't fly." And I get that "huh?" look. Once upon a time I thought I'd see what happened when I threw a cat down a flight of stairs. {I promise you I wasn't trying to hurt her...I was just curious.}But... what resulted in this experiment was one very tearful little girl and one very pissed off cat. The cat didn't go anywhere aside from a very, very deep claw into my shoulder. I should have had stitches cause she got me good {and I deserved it} but I didn't. And now I just have a silly story to tell. 
I broke my leg when I was in 8th grade. It was the beginning of track season... and as all 8th grade, bitchy girls do... I had a guy in which I loathed. I couldn't stand him... so one day as we are walking to track practice I thought I'd be funny and trip him. I don't know if I realized he was sprinting to practice or not... but I did it regardless. Stuck my little leg out in front of him and "POP" his knee hit my shin so hard it cracked straight across the bone and popped his knee out of place. I failed to mention that he was about 5'10", a very solid 250 lbs, and one of the fastest sprinters on our team. 
You better believe I think twice about tripping anyone anymore. ;)
So this is it, guys. The end of the challenge and I've made it most of the way. Just those pesky weekends... always getting in the way of my blogging. ;)
Happy Friday, Y'all... lets bring June in right!

On the edge of the mountain...

Day 30: React to this term: Letting go.



Letting go. Something that applies to so many things, places, people, moments in all of our lives. I can look back and think of moments when I was standing on the edge of this mountain of bad. Of toxic. And thinking to myself... How am I ever going to get through this? How am I ever going to be okay on the other side? I gave all I had and that got me here...
And sometimes I think it's in the moments of "I can't do this... I can't let go." that we realize... we can. 
Years ago, when I was standing on that mountain of heartache. And thinking that I'll never make it through the other side of this relationship... I found myself sobbing on the bathroom floor. Because I had gave it all I had. I had spent sleepless nights, gave up so much of myself, became a girl I never thought I'd be... and after what seemed like a lifetime... the truths all came crashing down around me. And that mountain crumbled. And I broke. And I cried... oh, I really cried. But it was in that moment of despair, that I felt the calmness wash over me. And I knew... it was time to let go. 
Letting go is a funny thing. When we are staring at it in the face with the knowledge that we will meet one day soon - we are so terrified of it. Like it quite possibly, could kill us. But then when we make it to the other side, once we have finally let go of the bad, the evil, the ugly... and that weight is lifted and we can breathe... 
We realize... letting go isn't the enemy. It's simply just our path to something better. And better never did come easy.

{via}

Happy Thursday, lovers - can you believe May is almost over?! Ohhh birthday month, I will miss you. 

I get so weak in the knees...

Day 29: Five pieces of music that speak to me or brings back memories. 



Jason Aldean. Anything... Somehow he just can't do wrong in my eyes. His albums have gotten me through some rough moments and when I'm having one of those days... he's my constant playlist. It's my comfort zone. 


Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow - "Picture" - this has become the ultimate road trip song. Whenever Amy, Missy, or I hear it we BELT it out... and so dramatically. 
Kate Voegele - "Hallelujah" - I've heard all the other versions, including the original - and I love them all. But I love this one the most. 
SWV - "Weak" - this song will always, always, always  take me back to my childhood. My friends Jenny, Stephanie, and I would sing this song like it was going out of style. And I don't think we had a clue what we were singing about... we just loved it. 

Blake Shelton - "Sure be cool if you did" - only because I can not get the song out of my head. It's my jam right now but it also won't leave my head. Although I'm not complaining... yesterday I had "Grandpa" by The Judd's stuck in my head. #thankstothevoice 
It's seriously hard to come up with five songs... I could think of a million different ones that have meant something in my life... but for now, we will go with these. 

I woke up this morning to see Illy sporting my leopard headband on her blog. And I was sooo happy... first she looks amazing in it - second, I kinda geek out a bit because she's hands down one of my favorites. I've followed her blog/shop for so long and own quite a few items - it was really cool to see her wearing something of mine. If you don't follow her blog {seriously, who doesn't?} you should. She's one of the most genuine and real people I've met on this blogging journey. 

And TODAY ONLY I'm offering the Leopard Sailors Knot headband for 20% off.. head on over to the store to scoop up this deal! That makes it $8 with free shipping! 

Happy hump day, kittens!

Weekend Snapshots...

Day 28: Only pictures.



A photo post is a good way to ease back into it... the long weekend was so nice. I didn't open up my computer once until tonight. Not that I was completely devoid of technology but - just trying my best to enjoy my time at home. 

My weekend was filled with lots of Harper and Leah time. I can't complain about that... and some bracelet making... keep an eye out and follow me on instagram to see when these babies get officially released!

Happy Tuesday, y'all!

Leaps of faith.

Day 23: Things you've learned that school won't teach you.




I didn't learn this from the books...
some of the people you thought you'd always have in your life... will disappear. But some people you never imagined to be in your corner, will be... without fail. 
life is hard sometimes. Pushes you to the brink every once in awhile, but with those people I mentioned above - you'll get through it. 
sometimes... the only thing in the world that can calm your soul is good country song. 
that it's okay to not be the cool kid. Be the dork, be passionate about something, be in love with something so much that you become a fashion/sewing nerd. {Or whatever your poison is.}
coffee will become a daily necessity in your twenties. Or red bull. 

{This picture has nothing to do with this post. He's just cute.}

your family will become your best friends. The parents you fought with in high school, the brother and cousins you never had commonalities with... they become your soul. They become those people who without fail, are always in your corner. 
that falling in love is nothing like the fairy tales you watched last weekend growing up. Love is insanely beautiful and deeply depressing and every emotion in between. School doesn't teach you that...
that sometimes people will disagree with decisions you make. But in the end, they're your decisions to make and that's all you can go on. 
in general, life is made up of a series of leaps of faith. Because everything you do... from the moment you graduate from college, take your first big girl job, fall in love, make friends you weren't born with, dye your hair from dark brown to blonde, wear leopard print skinny jeans for the first time, hold you baby niece minutes after she is born... all those moments, and many, many other ones are all made on leaps of faith. The leap of faith that it's going to be okay... that it's going to work out how it should... that if nothing else, you'll learn immensely from this experience. 
Leaps of faith... you don't learn about those in school. 
Happy Thursday, beautiful! Hope you have a good one!

Hope we can still be friends...

Day 22: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. {a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something someone does that ticks you off.}




Because I don't have just one, large issue to fill a blog post... how about a sweet and lovely post about things that annoy the piss crap out of me. 

{isn't it lovely how I can capture my annoyed face on camera... or it's sad. Either way it worked for today!}

If I hold the door open for you, acknowledge that. I don't need you to hug me and show your undying appreciation - but a smile - hell, even a nod. That'd be ok. 

For the love of all things Holy - chew with your mouth closed. I know I can be guilty of talking with food in my mouth and it drives my brother some people nuts. But that's totally different. Most of the time.

If I text you. Text me back... eventually. It doesn't need to be the second I said something, but at least just respond at some point. I don't typically just text to shoot the shit. 

And speaking of shooting the shit... I don't want to text just to do that. If our conversation is going to go something like this... You: hey. me: hey, what's up? you: nothing. *crickets* then... just don't text me. 

Smelly people. Why? Can you not smell? And... on that note, I've known more than one person who can't smell and they don't smell like ass all the time. So... neither should you. Be courteous to those around you.

When social media is strictly used for complaining about your lot in life. A complaint here and there is one thing... but if you are just going to whine and gripe... *unfollow*

Please, please, please... if you're wearing flip flops... wear them. Don't drag them. They aren't 10 pound weights on your feet - it's really not that hard, I promise.  

Rant. Finished. 

Hope we can still be friends... I promise if you're guilty of any of these things I'll learn to look away. Unless you smell... then no. We can't be friends. ;)

Happy hump day, kittens! Who's excited for the Nashville finale tonight?! *points to self*

It's story time...

Day 22: A list of links to my favorite posts in my archive... 

Here we go...

I'm sure I'm not alone in this... but I feel like the links that are most worthwhile are the ones where I write. I mean really write, from the heart... tell y'all a story...

And this is the story of the relationship I referred to in this post...

{via}

Storytime. Introduction. Chapter 1.

Chapter 2 - 6 hour phone call.

Chapter 3 - The first kiss.

Chapter 4 - Dear Diary...

Chapter 5 - I love you.

Chapter 6 - The most bittersweet moment.

There are a couple other relationship stories if you dig thru the archives {The Blonde Episodes} but this one is most crucial. The most raw. You'll notice these posts are on my old blog - Messy Hair & Cowboy Boots. I needed a fresh start... which is where this blog came from. 


Happy Tuesday, loves.  My thoughts and prayers are with those in Moore, Oklahoma today. 

The beauty in the struggle...

Day 20: Get real. A struggle right now.

{via}

And I believe this. Without struggle... we wouldn't appreciate the beauty in life.

Perhaps this is a cop out post, but it's the best I have today. My weekend was chalked full of birthday celebration and I enjoyed every second of it. I'm so very blessed to have the amazing friends and family that I do. But nonetheless, I'm a little tired today. So here you have it... that's what I'm struggling with... sleepiness. Today.

Hope y'all had a very amazing weekend. And kick Monday's bum.

What's the point if you aren't laughing?

Day 17: A favorite photo of yourself. And why.

While they aren't the most flattering photos of me... they're very "me" - laughing or with my mouth wide open. Yes, there are plenty of looking at the camera and smiling pictures that I don't hate... but these are some of my favorite "real life" moments captured. 

God himself only knows what I'm laughing at in them all... typical.

Happy Friday to you... and happy birthday weekend to me! YAYYYY!

The Bloglovin' Collective.

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Welcome to the weekly Bloglovin' Collective party! 

There are many out there like it, but this is the Bloglovin' blog hop you do not want to miss.

Host:

Bre from Peacoats & Plaid

and my co-hosts for the week:

Ange @ Hairspray and High Heels

Jacqueline @ Nora and Jac
Tessa @ Tessacotton
Sarah @ Dreaming About Baby
Jacquelyn @ Just Jacq
Chrissy @ Parlo and Logi

Interested in co-hosting? Send an email to peacoatsnplaid(at)gmail(dot)com to get on the waiting list.

I did want the moon and the stars.

Day 16: Something difficult about your "lot" in life and how you're working to overcome it.



My lot in life isn't one I can really complain about. However, I've done a lot of reflecting lately - being that I turn 30 in 4 days. Looking back - I thought I'd live in a much different world than I actually do. When I was 20 - 30 felt like a lifetime away. Hell, when I turned 29, 30 still felt like a lifetime away. 
Ten years ago I suppose I imagined I'd have the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, wonderful husband, and this "family" life - you know the one - the picture of the life we're supposed to have that's driven into our minds at a young age. Ten years ago I never stopped and thought... "What if that isn't where I am at 30?" 
That didn't seem like an option really. 
But at that time I had a steady, wonderful boyfriend, who would have given me the moon and stars had I asked for them. Why aren't we still together? It's quite simple, we weren't in love. We loved, oh, we really loved each other. But we weren't in love - we weren't in that I need you kind of love. And that wasn't enough for me - I did want the moon and stars. And I know had we stayed where we were - we would have just settled among the clouds. Not that there's anything wrong with that - but it was wrong for me. 
So seven years, a couple toxic relationships, and a handful of messy later - here I am. Single. Not married. Not working on the white picket fence life. Do I regret it? Hell no. I've learned so much about who I am. Not who I am with someone else. I know Jac. And we've came a long way from the girl who was once a raging bitch, fight starter, and quite frankly just a princess. I've mellowed. I've become more okay with myself. On my terms. Not anyone else's. 

{via}

Of course I struggle sometimes with where I am... when I spend time with Harper and see my brother and the life he is making for himself and Hollie. I'm proud of him and happy for him and wish I were at a similar spot in my life... but I know the time will come and the pieces will fall into place. I see some of my childhood friends engaged and wedding planning and I'm so thrilled for them - and again, for a moment, wish I were there. But then I remember that my time will come... and when it does. I'll be ready. 
So until those moments arise, and I find myself in the midst of my life changing that way - I'll enjoy every second that I have living this life, my life. I'll smother Harper with my love, I'll invest my time in crazy places, I'll screw up, I'll enjoy my selfish moments, I'll revel in quiet mornings, I'll take advantage of shopping for myself, and I'll try my best to enjoy doing whatever I want - whenever I see fit. That's all we can do, anyways... right? 
Enjoy the little things. Because usually... they're the things that matter the most. 
So as I embark on 30, in four days. I'm going to take it in stride and not see it as the end of something but rather the beginning. And I like that. And I like that I've come to terms with that - because a month ago I wasn't even going to acknowledge the day. Now, I'm excited to celebrate it with my best and dearest friends and family. 
Phew, how's that for a rambling post? I apologize. Blah, blah, blah...
Happy Thursday, sweet cheeks!

It's a wild life.

Day 15: A day in the life...

That, in itself could put anyone to sleep... but this is a typical day...

I usually start my day off when a green smoothie and catch up work - whether it be uploading galleries, responding to emails, updating our social media sites...

Quite often we will have shoots in the afternoon - we had a newborn session. So just add baby and we are set!

My evenings are usually running {trying to finish couch to 5k. ugh.}, dinner of some sort, and followed with sewing. 

I know, it's hard to contain the excitement you're feeling right now... crazy life I lead. 

And my day usually always ends like this...

It's a wild life. It does tend to differ, sometimes... 

Happy hump day!